"He's sooooo weird"

But that's why I love him....

The minister who's marrying us ask us to provide him with a brief description of how we met, our first impressions of each other, etc. for the wedding ceremony. In my feable attempt to delegate wedding tasks, I asked my goofy fiance to take a stab at it.......(now you'll understand why I don't delegate more....)

David and Karen's (Brief) History


David and Karen met in August 2004 after a whirlwind email courtship of high-flown allusion, entreaty, rejection, persistence and surrender. Use your imagination. Despite that tumultuous preface, they soon felt assured that they should spend the rest of their lives (gulp) together.

That was about it for tumult. They came to see me [Chris M] for wise counsel on their most pressing difficulty -- the almost complete lack of argument and conflict in their relationship. Now, some of that is doubtless due to growing up in families where argument and conflict were about as welcome as a broken hip or the pox. On the other hand, Karen and David discovered, over and over, that their thoughts and tastes and opinions were almost weirdly in tune, like a Texas guitar and a Midwest piano that automatically crank out "I Loves You Porgy" in perfect harmony.

To that I can only add, "Wait till you're married."

They also had the advantage of the accumulated wisdom of more than just a couple of decades on earth. Being of a certain age -- older than the average marrying couple, let's say, for the sake of concealment -- they felt they had a pretty good idea of what they were looking for in a spouse, qualities based on more than a cool haircut and favorite indie rock band. Although, let it be said, one ignores the importance of a cool haircut at one's peril.

That said, they quickly discovered what came to be known as The Three-Month Rule. In their conflicting tendencies toward caution and eagerness to get married and have it over and done with, they found a number of instances of similarly situated couples who got engaged three months after meeting and married three months after engagement. The most high-profile example is our current president, Mr. Shrub, and his beaming wife.

The Three-Month Rule would normally entail a February wedding for Karen and David, then, which would have worked out great for a Caribbean honeymoon while everybody else was suffering the doldrums and despair of a Midwestern winter. But it was not to be. Too darn complicated. That's why we're all here today and not when snowdrifts are piled outside the windows.