On the phone last night my sister, Sara, told me she suffers from guilt for not helping me with my wedding. Since she lives in Ohio, I understand why she can't drive to Chicago to help at the drop of bridal bouquet, and I told her not to worry about it. But then I remembered her wedding, and it all started coming back to me. "Yes," I told her. "You should feel guilty."
Since my sister was teaching English in China for the year after she graduated from college and wasn't returning until the month before her wedding, my mother took on the task of planning most of the wedding herself. In my mother's mind, this was going to be the wedding to end all weddings. She made (yes, actually sewed on her Bernina sewing maching) my sister's wedding dress, all of the bridesmaid dresses, the flower girl dress, AND her own dress. There were many details, and my mother obsessed over every last one of them and drove us all crazy. She turned me into her own personal wedding slave. In our family, the wedding came to be know as "Ellen B. and the Wedding of Doom" after the recently released Indiana Jones film.
After being an indentured servant most of the summer, the August wedding of my sister came and went. Of course, my mother pulled it off and the wedding of doom was beautiful. My sister and brother-in-law have been married for 20 years and have 5 children. It was the wedding to end all weddings.
Now my mom is gone, so she's not here to help me with my nuptial planning. I guess I'll have to convert Sara into a wedding slave all by myself.....
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