The horrors of being 25 and single

David and I had coffee with a friend who is 25 and single and experiencing the horrors of dating. Yes, she's been seeing this guy for a few months and figuring out that he's not "the one" and now she has to let him know that he's not the one and she's very sad that she has to hurt him. She's also afraid that she'll never find "the one" and that she'll be alone for the rest of her life. Ahhh, I thought while she was sitting there sobbing, try being single for another 15 years, then we'll talk. But, of course, I didn't say this and I felt her pain....remembering what it was like to be 25 and not know if you'll find someone to spend the rest of your life with. I think that was the hardest part of being single for so long. The unknowing. If God would send little memos down from on high that say something like "Ok, i know it's hard being single, but just so you know, I have this great guy in mind for you. But he's not quite ready yet, and to be honest, neither are you, but you'll both be ready when you're 32. So hey, you should just enjoy being single for now and go on trips with your girlfriends, and grow up a little bit, it's all going to work out in the end." But no, on topics like this God is mum. And I think there's a good reason for this. I think it's so we will seek him and learn a few things. Because we get to the point where we realize we have very little control over our relationships...or our lives. We wrestle with the unknowing. We lose sleep trying to figure out how to love another person and how to be loved. We hopefully figure out, through all of these failed relationships and broken hearts, how to be honest...how to treat another person with respect and kindness even if they're not "the one", and we are forced to trust God. For some of us, this takes a lot longer than others.

For some of us, it's through this painful journey that we come out the other side ready and willing to love someone unconditionally. And on the other side, we can sit down with our 25-year-old friends and show them, "see....it will all work out in the end, one way or another. It may look different than what you had hoped. But God is good. He hasn't forgotten you. And through the dating horror you will become the person he has created you to be."