Movie recommendations and stumbling upon a Mies treasure

I've always wanted to be a monk. Ever since I read Kathleen Norris' "The Cloister Walk" a few years ago, I've been drawn to the idea of an ascetic life, without the burden of material possessions, filled with time to read, pray, and beyond the constant noise of the city. I went on a weekend-long silent retreat once and loved it. I've never slept so well -- it was so quiet. I felt relieved not having to talk to others at the retreat center. No pressure to strike up a conversation. Plenty of time to pray, read, meditate.

When I was single and lived alone, my bedroom (and I'm a little embarrassed about this) looked like the cell of a monastery. White walls, simple bed, plain white comforter, one plain dresser, and a crucifix on the wall opposite my bed. David complains my decorating style is TOO ascetic for him. I want everything clean and simple. He likes lots of color and doesn't mind clutter.

We went to see a movie last weekend, Into Great Silence, about monks at a monastery in France. It documents the daily lives of a handful of Carthusian monks -- the strictest of the roman-catholic order. They live in silence mostly, only talking one day a week. They never leave their cells, except for prayers and mass in the chapel and for a walk one day a week. This is the first time the monks have ever been filmed, and it's a beautiful documentary. I highly recommend it. I was all ready to sign up, but then David reminded me that 1) I'm married to him 2) I'm a woman so I'd have to be a nun instead. Bummer. It just wouldn't be the same. Plus, I read online that Carthusian monks only get three hours of sleep at a time because they have to get up an pray during the night. Plus, their beds are made of straw. That just wouldn't work for me.

So I guess I won't join the monastery soon. But you should go see the movie. It's like being in a monastery for 2 1/2 hours. Very peaceful and contemplative. And you don't have to sleep on straw.

We also rented "Sophie Scholl: The Last Days" which won the best foreign language movie and was listed by Christianity Today as one of the top 10 "Redemptive" movies of 2006. It's about three young adults who were part of the resistance in Germany during WWII. Be sure to rent the DVD.

On Sunday the weather was beautiful and we decided to take a Sunday drive to Sandwich Illinois, which apparently has a killer antique/flee market on certain Sundays. However, we were there during a "non-flea-market day" and there wasn't much to see, only a handful of antique stores. But it was a nice drive and after we walked through the disappointing shops, we drove over to a forest preserve/park nearby. As we were driving out, I noticed a white building on the other side of the Fox River. "Oh my gosh, stop!" I told David. "It looks like that Mies van der Rohe house!" Sure enough, we drove across the bridge to the other side of the river and it was the famous Farnsworth House. I knew it was somewhere in Illinois -- I just didn't know where, and we had unwittingly stumbled upon it. Unfortunately, we tried to take a tour but an architectural class from University of Minnesota was touring it at the time so we would have had to wait 2 hours to get in. Bummer. But, we did get to see if from afar and we put it on our list of things to do this summer.

Spring is here.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood -- 70 degrees and sunny. The tulips and daffodils are finally making an appearance. I see bits of green tentatatively poking out from the buds on the trees outside my office window. Ahh, spring in Chicago. It takes a while, but once it's here it's a glorious payoff after all of our months of suffering. Later, I will go running by the lakefront.

It was a difficult winter, but now things are looking up in more ways than one. We surprisingly had enough money to pay our taxes. With both David and I being self-employed, Uncle Sam gouges us. And since it took a little longer than expected for my freelance business to get up and running, we weren't saving enough money. But thankfully, I've been working a lot since January and we didn't owe as much as we thought, so on Tuesday we sent off a check to the IRS. Feels good.

Plus, my very smart husband was accepted into three schools: Northwestern, Loyola, and Case Western to earn a degree in counseling/psychology. At first he thought Case Western was his first choice -- which would mean we'd have to move to Cleveland. I wasn't too excited about that. But after talking with the folks at Northwestern, he decided that the NW program was a better fit. Sigh of relief -- it's only a few miles from where we live. BUT, it was the most expensive of the three, and didn't offer any scholarships! How would we pay for it?! I kept looking on their website for any loophole...."are you sure they don't offer any scholarships?" I kept asking David. "ARe you sure you don't want to go to Loyola" (which is much cheaper). "Are you sure Case Western wouldn't be better?" (they offer lots of money). "No," David kept saying. "I really want to go to Northwestern." Sigh. "Okay, if you feel this way then I think you should do it." Leap of faith (with lots of moments of anxiety, I have to admit).

So we figured out our finances, and decided that if he could go to school part-time, keep working to try to pay for tuition, maybe, just maybe, we could swing it. But that would mean it would take him three years to finish instead of two. More anxiety. More sleepless nights.

Then, last week, out of the blue, David got a call from the director of the NW program. "How much money do you need to go fulltime?" she asked. David and I talked about it. If we could get money for half of the tuition, he could go fulltime, work on weekends to help pay for the rest. We thought it could work. "Let me see what I can do" she said. The next day she called and offered David a scholarship to pay for half of the tuition! Yay!! This is amazing -- since NW doesn't offer scholarships to Master's students -- only PhDs. It's an answer to prayer, and confirmation that he's headed in the right direction.

I love when God does that...

On Deconstructive Theology and what's to come.

As soon as my work schedule quiets down in the next week or two, I'll hopefully have time to blog more regularly. For now, here's a quick note. I just read a blog post by my friend, David Fitch. He mentions an article he recently wrote (on another blog) about why Emergent Christians/leaders are drawn to deconstructive theology and the likes of Derrida. You can read it here. Pretty much sums it up for me, a recovering fundamentalist.

Here's a list of things I've wanted to blog about, but haven't had the time!

Having a second chance at Facebook
Burger King makes PETA happy
Christian novels: On Preaching to the Choir
Ethiopian Adoption?

Stay tuned....

I'll have the gravel, with a side of pebbles.

David and I gave up TV for Lent. That's gone fairly well, except for the few times we pulled it out of the closet to watch a DVD and then "forgot" to put it back, giving us opportunities to surf channels and merge with the couch again. But then we realized what we were doing and David rolled it back into the closet as I watched him wistfully. Every once in a while I'll look at him and whine, "But I want to watch TV!!!" and he replies, "No, you don't." He's so mean.

But he's right. I don't want to be a potato or any other kind of vegetable. Although I may turn into one since I also gave up sugar, white flour, fried foods, caffeine (sort of), and dairy for Lent. I'm eating mostly fruit, whole grains, nuts, and lots and lots of veggies. David says pretty soon I'll just be eating gravel. Maybe.

But I'm getting a little addicted to giving things up. It feels good, and freeing.

Now, I don't really understand Lent, since I grew up Baptist and we steered clear of anything "catholic". So during lent we continued our church rituals of gorging on potluck dinners in the church basement complete with molded, jiggly jello and green bean casserole. I also don't remember having Good Friday Services. Our focus was mainly on the happy part of Easter -- the Resurrection part. We'd get up early on Easter Sunday and go to the Sunrise Service in our matching Easter dresses my mother made. Then we'd go home and our Easter baskets would be hhidden somewhere in the house, and we'd spend the day peering into our sugary "diorama eggs (you know, the ones with the little windows with an Easter Bunny inside),, and eating jelly beans and Peeps.

But if I'm not mistaken, giving up something for Lent has to do with identifying with Christ's sacrifice and reflecting on his suffering (although I can't imagine missing the latest American Idol episode can begin to compare to being nailed to a cross).

I have been reflecting a lot on sacrifice lately. It seems I've been giving up more than just cheese and American Idol. I've also been letting go of certain dreams, giving up always getting my way (that's what marriage does to you), and letting go of control. I think it's inevitable, as we get older, to have to give up dreams. If you pursue one thing, you're going to have to give up something else. We really can't have it all, contrary to all of the messages we've heard as Americans.

Letting go. Giving up. Letting dreams die. These aren't things I do very well. But I'm learning to, and realizing in the process that it's sortof fulfilling, and freeing, and makes me feel pretty darn good sometimes. And maybe giving all of these thing up will make a little more room in my life for some of the plans God has for me. I'll be waiting with anticipation.