Rich and Poor

After hearing last night about friends who recently received a financial windfall from the sale of a business, I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be rich and poor. Curiously, I haven't felt envious or jealous of my friends, although I have turned around in my mind the concept of having a large amount of money -- we could pay off debt, afford our adoption, feel more secure financially. Yes, it would be nice, I admit.

And I can't help but think how crazy life is. What will I say to my friends next time I seem them: "Congratulations! You deserve it!" But who deserves what in this world? If my friends "deserve" a windfall, does that follow that Ethiopian children I read about in the paper yesterday "deserve" to be starving?

Or would I say they are "blessed?" We throw around that term a lot in the Christian community, but what does it mean?

I am truly happy for my friends. Maybe they can live a little more comfortably and send their kids through college, and not have to worry about money.

But jealous or envious? No. And I don't mean this to sound holier-than-thou or self-righteous. But sometimes I think having a lot of money isn't really the gift that we make it out to be in our culture.

My all-time favorite sermon was given at Fourth Presbyterian Church by author and poet Kathleen Norris. In the sermon she talks about being rich and poor and quotes Psalm 62 that says "Do not set your heart on riches, even when they increase." And Psalm 49 reminds us that no amount of money will prevent our death, and states that "in their riches, people lack wisdom: they are like the beasts that go astray."

Norris goes on to say "In our riches, we lack wisdom. And we often seem to need hardship to bring us to our senses..... The theme of wealth and poverty is reflected throughout scripture. The conclusion is this: God upsets our apple carts, the precious idols of the status quo. That which we see as rich and powerful and wise God exposes as foolish and weak; that which we despise as poor and unworthy is treasured by God as a pearl of great price.

"For God knows," Norris continues, "that when we think of ourselves as self-sufficient in our riches, we are truly poor. Our lives wither away, and in our desperation for control, we stunt the lives of others, even those closest to us -- our parents, mates, and children. But when we come to know ourselves as we really are: weak and unfortunate creatures who need the love of God and other people, it is then that we are rich."

Despite my tiny bank accounts and annoying debt and frustration over our adoption moving slowly because of our finances, I truly feel rich right now. In this hardship I feel humbled and totally dependent on the love of God and those around me. And I feel something shifting in me, in the deepening of my character, in my relationship with David, in my trust in God. In my tiredness and discouragement, something feels deep and rich and full. As Kathleen Norris says, "I feel myself -- my weak, weary, and withered self -- to be every bit as rich as a queen."