Adoption Update

We had our first meeting with our social worker last week. I wasn't sure what to expect, and I was a little nervous. Would she have a good first impression and think we are good candidates to parent a child? Or would she think we were too old, too weird and too poor?

But overall, it was a very nice meeting. I like our social worker. She's been at The Cradle (our home study agency) for over 20 years. We talked for over 2 hours about why we want to adopt, why Ethiopia, what age we should consider, our backgrounds, etc. Nothing too probing yet. At the end of our conversation, she gave us a stack of paperwork to read and fill out. It's a bit daunting, but we're just taking it one step at a time. Right now it looks like Ethiopia is a good fit for us, and we're thinking about adopting a 3-4 year old. However, our social worker seemed to think the younger the better (for attachment reasons and because we're first time parents). So our age preference may get younger. If that happens, we may need to find another International agency, because Wide Horizons doesn't let you choose the gender of the child if you want a child under 3. Or, we would need to be open to a boy. Not that I'm against adopting a boy, but I have 13 nephews and I know how much energy they have when they're 3 -- they're constant motion! I seriously wonder if David and I would have enough energy for that.

So we're starting the paperwork, taking classes (we're required to take a day-long class at The Cradle in April and a handful of on-line classes), and then we'll meet with our social worker a few more times.

We're still working on our web site. We're hoping to get it finished this weekend.

In the meantime, check out the blogs of two of my on-line adoption acquaintances. They're in Ethiopia right now meeting their children for the first time!! Kristin and her husband are picking up little Marin, and Lori and Ted are getting to know little Abenezer. Adorable, eh?

A walk in the city

My new office is in the "River North" area of downtown Chicago, so we're close to Michigan Avenue, The Loop, etc. It's been too nasty outside to really take advantage of the neighborhood, but the other day when it was at least above zero and the sun was peeking out, I took a walk. Here are some pictures:

My office is on Superior Avenue, home to lots of galleries. I love these glass heads. I want to buy one.


Yes, ice falls off of the high-rises. People have died from being hit by falling ice. But I'm always curious about these signs. By the time you see a chunk of ice falling to the ground, wouldn't it be too late to get out of the way?


Here's the steeple of Holy Name Cathedral. About 13 years ago, when I was working in this exact same neighborhood at a mindless job and suffering from severe depression, I spent many of my lunch hours in this sanctuary. It was right after I had been dumped by a guy who I knew I didn't want to marry, but who had betrayed me and left me confused and hurt. I would sit and stare at the gorgeous carved wood crucifix that hangs in the front of the sanctuary and try to feel God's love.


Here's a ballerina in the Sak's window. I don't shop at Sak's because it's too expensive and the sales people are really snooty. Plus, what does a ballerina have to do with anything?


Here's Michigan avenue. I think it's about a mile or more if I walk from my office to here and back. It's a nice little workout during lunch.


The Hancock Building. It's a nice view from the top. Oh, and the thing to the left is the original Chicago water tower that survived the great fire.


Thanks for taking a walk with me today. For our next walk, we may venture into the notorious Cabrini Green neighborhood, which is being "gentrified." All of the former residents have been forced to move out, the public housing buildings are being razed, and the yuppies are moving in.

"I am sicker than a dog"

That's my new six-word memoir.

It figures. I was just bragging to a coworker last week that I NEVER get sick. HA. HA. Then two days later I'm suffering from a headache, stuffy nose, achy muscles and sore throat. I tried to plow through my weekend chores, but I had to lie down and rest every 30 minutes. I managed to pick up the house, pay some bills online, go to the grocery store. But that's about it. Otherwise I was on the couch moaning and snuffling.

Feeling a bit better this morning, although I AM SO READY FOR SPRING! Today I woke up to rain that is supposed to turn to snow this afternoon. Ugh. I contemplating taking a sick day, but couldn't decide if I was sick enough. So I took a shower, felt a bit better, drove to work in the rain, and now here I am at my desk. I'm am feeling better. It's amazing what a Grande Iced Americano can do.

Thanks to all who contributed a Six Word Memoir. I think Jane's was my favorite: Love and loss have softened me. Knowing what she's been through in the past year, it is very poignant. Read her story here.

I guess the Six Word Memoir is making the rounds. Salon.com had readers write their own. Here are some of my favorites:

"Failure was apparently an option here"
"Frankly, it is all about me."
"Don't even try to plan it."

And my all-time favorite: "Fat man in a sweater vest."

Maybe I have a strange sense of humor, but that one made me laugh out loud!

Now, here's the memoir i WANT to write: "Found my path, walked it fearlessly."

But unfortunately, too many times I question the path I'm on, and I let fear get the best of me. Then I'm paralyzed. If I could only be sure of my path and walk it fearlessly. How does one get there? How do you get to a place where you're confident of your path and have the courage to walk it with boldness and without fear?

***
Well, maybe I'm going to answer my own question: We handed in our application to The Cradle last week. We've been assigned a social worker for our home study, and so we're just waiting to get a phone call from her to set up an appointment.

It's scary and exciting at the same time.

And to make it even more exciting, last week David gave me the BEST VALENTINE'S DAY PRESENT EVER.

He gave me flowers on Valentine's Day, but told me he was "making" another gift for me that wasn't done yet. So I waited all week for my second Valentine's Gift. To be honest, I thought he was writing me a song (I couldn't think of anything else he would "make" for me). But last Sunday he finally revealed his gift: An adoption website! Yep, he's creating this whole adoption website where we can tell everyone about our exciting Ethiopian Adventure. It's almost done, and we'll be posting the URL soon. So stay tuned.....

Write a six word memoir!

I've always wanted to write a memoir, and now I have. In six words. (It took me about 10 minutes). I found this fun link to an online magazine where you can submit your six-word memoir. Here are some examples:

"Gloves off. Rings off. Marriage over."
"Sixties hippie chick finally grows up."
"I am more than six words."

I tried it and here are four six-word memoirs I wrote.

"A Baptist girl finally blossoms late."
"Questions never answered, but peace found."
"Hesitant observer finally joins the game."
"Never stops hoping for good hair."


Which one should I submit?
Let me read your six-word memoirs!

I knew there was a good reason I like Obama

Ever taken the Meyers-Briggs personality test? I'm an INFP, for anyone who's wondering. I'm an "Idealist".

Turns out Barack Obama is, too. He's an ENFP. Read about the personality types of all of the candidates in Emily Yoffe's fun article in Slate.com today. It explains a lot...

Learning to love the EL...again.

When I first moved to Chicago several years ago, I loved riding the "El". It made me feel urban, young, chic, streetwise, and cool. I didn't even mind when it was crowded. I reveled in being part of the masses of humanity taking the train "to the Loop" to work. It was gritty, loud, crowded, and fun. I liked seeing the tops of two flats and the back porches of condo buildings whizzing as I rode to work.

But somewhere along the line I became disillusioned. The crowds started annoying me. I noticed I no longer liked strangers bumping up against me or pushing me aside as they tried to squeeze into a too-full train car. Then I had a job in the NBC Tower, which was several blocks from the El station. It was a difficult time in my life. I was in the process of trying to transition from working in the Christian publishing ghetto to something different -- I wasn't sure what -- and I was taking fiction writing classes. I was temping for a company in the NBC building, which turned into a full time job. But a job I hated. It was a job where my skills weren't being used, where I didn't fit in, and where I felt like I was spinning my wheels. In the winter, the walk from the El station to the NBC building was, well, hellish. The NBC building is near the lake, and to get from the El to the building I had to walk through a large open plaza that during the winter was like walking through Antarctica. I would arrive a work windblown, frozen, with watering eyes and a red nose. And all that to get to a job that I despised.

That experience soured my love for the El. It no longer held any romance for me. Now it was like a mean ex-boyfriend.

I was relieved when I left that job to work as a freelancer. My main client was in a northern suburb, and I got to drive to work, where there was a huge black-topped parking lot. FREE Parking! I couldn't believe my good fortune. I suddenly loved the large expanses of green grass in the burbs and the huge yellow-lined parking lot. I loved listening to NPR in the car and the 10 Starbucks on the way to work. The "El" I had had broken up and I had a new lover: My car.

My new job is a half-block from the El station. At first I tried to deny this. The first couple of weeks on the job I drove to work, "To make my transition easier," I told David. But parking is scarce, and if I couldn't find a free spot, I'd end up parking in a lot where I paid $13. After a few weeks I had to be honest with myself: We couldn't afford to spend that much. So I knew I had to make up with the "El" and learn to love it again.

I really have it quite easy now. David often drives me to the El station near our house. I'm near the "top of the line" so I usually get a seat. It's only a 30 minute ride to work, and I only have to walk a half-block from the El station to the door of my office building. Plus, there's a Starbucks right around the corner.

But I still have "El" baggage. I loathe waiting. Standing on the El platform waiting for the train is a test of my patience, especially in the cold. But I'm learning to enjoy the ride. Today I sat on the side of the train and felt the sun on my face. I noticed all of the church steeples on the way downtown. I like "people-watching" and find it interesting that you can tell what stop we're at by the type of people who get on -- the former frat boys and sorority girls at the Fullerton Station. The more diverse crowd at the Howard Station. When I take the train to Logan Square for Nordic Choir practice on Monday nights, I'm riding the El with hipsters and artsy types.

I'm trying to see my morning commute as meditative. Being quiet and contemplative in the midst of the chaos of humanity. To see each face that gets on the train and wonder who they are, what they're thinking, what they're struggling with. Or sometimes I just sleep (or try to).

Maybe one day you'll see my photo here.

This website was created by the sister of my good friend Mrs. Metaphor.

Migraines "R" Us

I woke up today with a migraine. This is my fourth migraine in the past week. Just when I was feeling hopeful that maybe, just maybe, the daily Beta-blocker I take to prevent migraines was finally kicking in and getting my headaches under control. I hadn't taken my other medication, Relpax, for a few months, so I was hopeful. (I take Relpax when I actually have a migraine.)

My error is thinking that I can actually control what goes on in the veins in my head. And believe me, I try. I stay away from "triggers" that set off the headaches. These (for me) include red wine, aspartame, getting too hungry, getting too tired, getting too stressed, and strong cheese. It's a delicate balance. There are other things I can't control -- like changes in weather (the barometric pressure sets them off), and cold wind, and hormones.

Every time I get a migraine, it's a guessing game as to what set it off. The cold front that came through yesterday? My lack of sleep? Too much caffeine? Stress at work?

Last week my headaches were triggered (I think) by the following:

Wednesday: I took a walk at lunch. It was sunny out, which fooled me into thinking that it was actually WARM outside. So I didn't wear a hat. It was really only around 18 degrees outside, and I think the cold wind on my head and the bright sunlight set off my headache.

Thursday: I had a big meeting with one of our clients -- a client who used to be my employer. I was nervous about the meeting, and about seeing former colleagues. Bingo. I had a splitting migraine after the meeting.

Saturday: I went out for drinks with friends. I avoided red wine, which is known to trigger migraines. Instead, I had a martini. A splitting headache followed. Apparently I can't consume any alcohol anymore.

Monday/Tuesday: Last night I felt a migraine coming on at about 8:00. I couldn't think of what would trigger it, except that I waited a little too long to eat dinner, and a cold front was coming through Chicago. I guess that's what did it. Since I had taken Relpax three times last week, I didn't want to take it yet again...The stuff is expensive and the side effects make me nervous. So I went to bed last night without drugs, hoping I could sleep off the pain. Nope. I woke up at 5:00 this morning with a splitting headache. Knowing that I needed to go to work in a few hours, I took a Relpax and went back to bed.

This is my life with migraines. A constant balancing act, trying to make sure I don't consume the wrong thing, don't take walks when it's too cold, don't get too stressed, or too hungry or too tired.

At least now I have drugs to take. The Relpax usually works well. But I hate taking it. If I don't take it, the headache could last three days.

I get depressed, sometimes, thinking about how I have to deal with this pain on a regular basis. I wonder "why me?" and I envy people who don't get headaches. What is that like, I wonder? During times why I'm suffering from a series of migraines, I measure my days by my head. Yesterday my head was "foggy" and my forehead felt "stuffy." I felt down and discouraged all day, like I would have to live the rest of my life with the pain. ON bad days I feel frail and sickly, and walk around looking pale with dark circles under my eyes.

But today is a good day (after the Relpax kicked in). My head feels clear and pain free. I feel more hopeful. I'm hoping this feeling will last for a while.

Oh, if you want to read more about migraines, check out the Migraine Blog on the New York Times web site.

Today's entry is about the hallucinations or "auras" that some people get before their migraine starts. Sounds kindof cool. I don't get auras. Just the pain. bummer....