Year three

On May 8 David and I officially started our third year of marriage. It's gone by fast, these past two years. Which I take to be a good sign. I still don't feel married sometimes, which I also take to be a good sign. The transition has been too easy, and I married someone who gets me so well that it seems like we've been together all along.

I asked David, on our drive through the prairie, what he likes most about being married. He said: 1) the end to loneliness, and 2) having someone who makes you feel you can do anything because you're part of a team.

I agreed. But then I added: 1) companionship and, 2) having someone who "gets me."

I never thought anyone would get me. Or, if they did, would want to hang out with me for more than 2 hours. I have my quirks, and my doubts and obsessions, and my bad habits. I don't hang up my wet towels in the bathroom. I just stuff them onto the towel bar so they never get dry, and then they start to smell dank. David hates that. But he loves me anyway. But other than the towels, I'm anal about cleaning. I throw everything away, even if it was still usefull (according to David). I retreat and stop talking when I'm depressed or hurt. He puts up with that, too, and a myriad of other annoying traits. I love him because he puts up with me, and loves me even when I don't love myself.

And I like being his cheerleader. I never got to be a cheerleader in high school. I couldn't do a cartwheel, plus, I wasn't perky enough. But now I can be David's cheerleader, without having to wear a short pleated skirt. I want him to grow and thrive and be the person God created him to be. I love that he's going back to school and being affirmed in those gifts. He's smart, a great writer, and compassionate. I like having someone to cheer and encourage. And I like having someone do the same for me.

I also like that we expand each other's worlds. I'm ice skating, going to a catholic church, attending plays and art openings that I never would have without David. I'm meeting people and reading books that I would have missed if I were still single. I'm being challenged in ways that seem good and fulfilling, even though hard at times.

It seems like we've been through a lot in our short marriage. Two miscarriages, job changes, financial challenges. And through it all I feel we've grown closer, forming a bond that will only grow stronger with time. And we acknowledge our dependence on God. We can't do this without him. We've grown spiritually...together....as we sit in mass and pray together about each of these challenges.

To be honest, marriage is different than I expected. I thought my life would just fall into place when I got married. I'd finally be a traditional member of society -- married, house, 2.5 kids. It's not turning out that way. But you know, I've never really liked following the traditional path, anyway. I like that we're different and maybe a little odd. Our path may be different, but it's more interesting, I think. And God keeps surprising us. I like surprises.