Ethiopia or bust

Months ago I promised a post about Ethiopian adoption. So here it is. It took me so long to write this because I've been obsessed with adoption blogs, websites, etc., trying to figure out what "we're supposed" to do about adoption (i.e. what God is calling us to do). I had alway thought we'd just hop on a plane and fly over to China and adopt a daughter or two. I loved the idea of my kids having Chinese cousins in LiJen and Ellie. But alas, with China's new rules, we're too old. (I guess that's better than being too fat or having a "face deformity", which would also disqualify us). We're also disqualified because we have histories of depression. So China isn't a possibility. I was dreaming of my niece, LiJen, (who's in college studying Social Work and who wants to work for an adoption agency), flying to China with us to pick up our child. It would have been a poignant story, eh?

I'm also going through all of these thoughts about having a biological child. Okay, I realize I'm about 15 years too late. Of course. That's the story of my life. And it's probably human nature that we want something when we can't have it. But for some reason I've been reading / hearing things lately that make me feel like I"m missing out on something. Like a few days ago when a friend said "Giving birth was a profound spiritual experience." Oh...I guess one that I'll never have. Bummer. Or an article I read last week about a woman who described giving birth to her son as like "A life passing through me," and having her daughter was like "A piece of me broke off and created another life." Wow. Sounds cools. I guess I won't get that experience, either.

Getting closer to adoption makes you think about all of these things. I've always wanted to adopt. But I always thought I would have a biological child as well.

Then there's the complicated process of getting a child through adoption. My idea of "just hopping on a plane" to get a child is so naive. There's paperwork, tons and tons of it. Then it's all the decisions -- What country? Which agency? Older kids, younger kids? Sibling groups? Now or in a year? All of these things to decide. It's truly overwhelming.

Then there's my aversion to the "pack" mentality. I don't really want to do what everyone else is doing. More and more people are going to Ethiopia to adopt babies. Now I'm freaking out because I've heard that they might tighten the rules just like China....and so we have to move FAST in order to get our kids before 1) they're all taken or 2) Ethiopia decides we're not qualified to raise one of their orphans. Crazy mind games, I know. In reality, I've heard there are more than 2 million AIDs orphans in Ethiopia. Last year 751 Americans adopted Ethiopian kids. I'm sure this year it will be even more, but geesh....it's still a drop in the bucket. There are still millions of kids who need homes.

I know David and I have more than enough love to give a child. I know there are children out there who need homes. Now, I'll just have to trust God to bring us the child we're meant to have.

So this blog might soon turn into an adoption blog. Stay tuned.