Adoption update

We have "Part A" of the adoption application finished. It mostly consisted of reading documents and signing our names to prove the we read them. Now we're waiting for money to drop from heaven because we have to pay the first adoption agency fee when we send in "Part A"...money which we don't have right now. But at least we have the application finished! That's a start and it feels good. It will sit on my desk until we can scrap together the money.

From reading blogs and other adoption related articles online, I don't think we're alone in wondering how the heck we're going to pay for this adoption. Many PAPs (prospective adoptive parents) start the process with a leap of faith. So here we are, leaping. I've been researching adoption grants...I'm going to apply for them all and see what happens. For some reason I'm skeptical we will qualify for any of these grants. I tend to have this "I never win anything!" mentality, and I feel like there are probably so many other PAPs out there who are applying for the same grants and who are much more needy than we are. But we're both writers and so I figure we can at least plead our case fairly well on paper.

I'm also praying daily for more freelance work...

I've been thinking a lot lately about this decision and all of the questions we'll have to face from friends, family, acquaintances as we go through this process. The first one I've had to answer already is "Why Ethiopia? Why not adopt domestically?" The simple answer is, 1) We feel drawn to Ethiopian adoption for humanitarian reasons. 2) We feel more comfortable with the International adoption process (which is much different than the domestic process), 3) we meet the qualifications for Ethiopia.

Do we feel "called" to adopt from Ethiopia? I don't know. I DO know we feel called to adopt, period. And for whatever reason we feel Ethiopia is the right decision for us right now.

I've also been thinking a lot about what it means to have a multi-racial family. Will our family and friends look at us differently? Will unknown prejudices come to the surface? Will they love our child even though she is black? Black....there, I said it. It's a loaded word in our society. Sure, I have nieces from China. But being "black" in America carries its own burden. I've even asked myself if it's fair to bring an Ethiopian child into American society. Are we going to pile burdens on her that she wouldn't have had to deal with in Ethiopia?

More and more, I'm realizing that adoption is complicated. Sure, we will provide a child with a loving home and parents and an education they probably wouldn't have gotten in Ethiopia. But the cost is high. Taking a child from her culture, her people, her heritage. I still think its the right thing to do. Otherwise these AIDS orphans will languish in an orphanage, and maybe end up on the street. But there is a loss whenever a child is adopted.

An article written by a Korean adoptee in today's NY Times says it well. You can read it here.

Here in Chicago, and Evanston (the suburb just north of the city), we frequently see racially mixed families. White parents with black children, white husband with black wife and mixed children. We will fit right in. And we are starting to get to know other families who have adopted from Ethiopia. Here in Chicago these families get together once a month for social activities. I'm looking forward to being a part of that group. We will work hard to help our child stay connected to Ethiopia and other Ethiopian kids.

It's a lot to think about. This whole process is overwhelming, exciting, scary, and thought-provoking. When it comes down to it, I feel like there's a little girl who's waiting in Ethiopia for a new family, and we just have to go through this process to bring her home. Please pray for us...and pray for her.