A morning on the EL

I got a seat on the EL this morning, but cringed when an obviously mentally ill man got on the train and stood right in front of me. He had three teeth, wore dirty gloves and an ancient winter coat. He was clutching a Dunkin Donut's bag. Like many mentally ill people, he was muttering to himself...a running commentary. "Oh, brother, I thought. Just what I need on a Monday morning. This is exactly why I hate riding the EL. This guy is making everyone uncomfortable."

Those around him moved away, but I was stuck in my seat. So I just stared ahead and tried not to provoke him.

"The loud speaker's at just the right level. Sometimes it's blasting.....I have my jelly donut here, but I can't eat it...it would be too much chaos...it would slop all over...and they never put napkins in the bag....the little boy wanted a donut, but his mother wouldn't let him....maybe it was for religious reasons. Those polygamist women in Texas....they're strange...what's the deal with them...."

After a while, I started laughing. Everything this guy was saying was sort of...true...and funny.

I looked up at him and he looked at me. I smiled. "You're making me laugh" I said to him. He smiled back.

Now he had an audience. I was sad for him, but also still a bit wary. I didn't want to encourage him too much. What would he do?

"I talk to myself", he said "because I live alone. I've lived alone for 50 years....except for my two cats...they're fixed...the male cat, he didn't like that...he's a mean one, he weighs 30 pounds and has diabetes. I've had him since he was 7 months old....he's still 49% feral....and 51% he listens to me....he's mean though...but I believe there's good in everyone...even animals...."

I realized that maybe he wasn't mentally ill. He was just lonely.

This went on for the rest of the el ride. The guy's voice was getting louder. Now he was speaking directly to me and I could tell the other riders were uncomfortable that I was encouraging this guy. They moved even further away from him and shot me some dirty looks.

"Before I had them fixed, I had to duct tape the doors closed so the male cat couldn't get to my female cat. But one day I came home and he had pushed that door open....even though I had used 2/3 of a role of duct tape!....but I got them fixed because that helps the cat population and the smell....

He got off at my stop. "You're getting off here, too?" He asked. I nodded and smiled.

I hurriedly got of the train and was walking in front of him. I half-way turned around and said "Have a nice day."

"Hey, maybe I'll see you on the train again." He said.

"Yea, maybe" I said.

Then I walked down the stairs and into the April rain.